Inspired by 102 Year Old Aunt, who passed recently

My Great God Aunt Vivian Hinds was healing generational patterns before it was cool. It started when she was raised during the alcohol prohibition to a bootlegging rolling stone father, and a mother who resented her for not being a boy. Her father neglected their family while  entertaining other women. Which caused her mother to neglect, and abuse her further. 

She loved music from the crib until the very end. Music helped carry her through her hardest times, and her favorite artist was Billie Holliday. One of my favorite things to do when she was getting closer to her transition was to stream Billie Holiday. She had an amazing record collection, but she lost mobility mixed with the dementia that started setting in. She believed they were long gone. Her loss of memory was the best part though, because Id put on a Billie Holiday playlist and her whole face would light up. She'd start singing along to the songs, dancing, telling stories about how she helped her through some of the roughest times during her life. 

She was attached to her mother until about the age of 30, which is when her mother had a psychotic episode. She called the cops on her, claiming that she was trying to kill her with a wash rag. Around that same time is when she met her husband. Who was a World War II vet, and would soon become one of the first black flight attendants working for united. She traveled to so many places because of this, she was terrified of flying. Who wouldn't be during those early times of flight technology, but she still went with him. She visited Africa, she loved Africa so much she purchased decorations to design her home with. She even had an elephants foot chair, which was always an interesting year controversial conversation starter.

She loved her husband, but due to the way she was raised. She showed up in all the ways that he wouldn't. When it was time to paint the house, she did it. When it was time to do a repair, she was on it. She would entertain dinners, and even when her husband got sick she started cooking healthier meals. He wasn't able to show much appreciation for these, and would stay out later golfing. Go out to eat, which eventually caused his condition to decline further.

The day he passed, he asked her to join him for breakfast. At which point she was fed up not being appreciated, for her constant self sabotaging. So she told him no, and that she never wants to join him for a meal again. He left to get food, and unfortunately had a heart attack and died. She felt so relieved, which she felt guilty for, for years. She made a promise to her self that she would never look for love in another man. 

This is when my mom and I come in. Around the some time she was processing the loss of her partner of 30+ years, which had to have been so confusing for someone in the early 90s. When narcissism, and toxic masculinity were traits that were idolized, and taking care of your self was almost frowned upon. Let me get back on track, around the same time my mom was raising my a as a single mother, due to her husband, my father, being incarcerated for a murder charge. 

One of our family members on my fathers side, suggested that we hang out with Vivian. She needed family, and my mother needed help. Auntie Vivian and I clicked so tight, I memorized her number and would call her on the phone. She took me to experience many restaurants, and theme parks. She helped fund so many experiences for me, and she even made me the heir to her home. 

She helped raise me, she encouraged me when she saw me repeating similar cycles that she broke with her mother. I was raised to identify as a brother with the responsibility of a parent to my siblings, and other familial issues. I would also be scapegoated for actions I wasn't responsible for, yet would assume accountability. I felt it was my responsibility to care for my siblings where my parents were not able to. She always told me that I need to focus on my own life, and find my happiness. Then would reassure me that she always had my vote. 

When I finally made the decision to separate from my family, the reaction was insane. I then made the decision to help Aunty Vivian during the last years of her life, and help get the house in order so my grandmother could enjoy her self as well. My grandmother was the live in caregiver for my aunt for 4 years at that point. While helping them, there were many ups and downs, that helped me on my journey to heal my childhood wounds and end generational cycles in my family while helping aunty vivian enjoy the last days of her. 

The roles switched, she always said that I was her first counselor. She always said that she was happy, which no one ever questioned. I did, id ask her how she felt and encourage her to express those emotions that she had to hide for so many years. I encouraged her to speak up, and that started my grandmothers healing journey as well. My grandma was notorious for attacking anyone who went against her agenda. 

I can go on and on about the history between us, and how much of an important role she served in our family. I believe that she taught me everything while she was here, so I could use that knowledge in my own life. Her energy feels just as supportive, if not more, than when she was here physically.

I am looking to receive a grant to help me purchase the supplies, marketing, repair some of my credit while building business credit. To help me build a platform to reach out to children who are stuck in those toxic cycles, find their way out, and more importantly them selves. I feel the more we encourage our collective to heal those parts of our selves we've been encouraged to neglect. The more space we will have to apply our strengths and creativity, evolve, heal our planet, and help out future generations. 

Im just trying this website out, not sure if I did this part properly. Hope you enjoyed the summary of my story. My goal is to inspire others to change their narrative and chose the path that they flow best in by sharing my aunts stories, knowledge, my life experiences, while utilizing astrology as a guide to gain insight on what areas would benefit from healing the most. 

I appreciate any donation as it would help me continue my dream of running a business, that is also impacts communities in progressive and healthy ways.

Thank you so much